Sometimes you learn something about yourself when you LEAST expect to..

Forever and a day I remember, even at a very young age, always wanting to please everyone. I wanted the world to like me, be my friend and want to spend time with me. This of course would pertain to other children, adults, teens, animals, it didn't matter. It was like I saw everything and everyone as a source of vibrating energy. My duty in life was to keep that vibration of happiness continually spinning for the entire world.

Rose colored glasses... That is how I saw life, and people. Everyone was good hearted, nice and we all wanted the other to be happy and healthy and fruitful. We could all share what we have, and if we needed something from them they would jump at the chance to share with you as well.

Well, the older I got, the more I realized just how naive I really was. People were starving in our own country as well, seniors were being neglected and abused, animals hurt and treated without feeling, perverted teachers, bad cops, addicted doctors, everywhere I turned there were waves of disappointment.

It wasn't a bad thing, nor was it wrong, that when I was so young, I envisioned what could have been.  I think it's a sweet gesture when kids see people in a different light than we adults do.

Belittling someone for "Wearing Rose Colored Glasses"(in my opinion) is someone expressing their disappointment that life is not a certain way. Their expectations have been shattered just a little bit as well, and it's easier (and much more cool) to look as if things don't matter, when deep down they really do. Why not make someone else feel like crap, especially if you do too.

Then, there are the people that tell others to stop playing the victim. Wait, you criticize the way others think, you are afraid of being exposed for what you really are (or in some cases AREN'T), you passively aggressively manipulate the perception others have, and you point your well-fed finger at others calling them a victim? That doesn't make any sense. Someone having the true desire to make people happy is not a downfall. If it is, it's only to the person trying. There are people that don't want to be happy. There are those that don't know HOW to be happy. We ourselves cannot change others without their willingness to change. Offering up help is one thing, wanting to change them to what YOU want them to be is another. A mature mind can distinguish between the two. A desperate, unsure mind cannot.

Do I still want people to be happy around me? Absolutely... However, there are now stipulations, sadly. Not sadly for my behalf, because I will always need to take care of myself first, then help others where I can.

• There is no trying to help someone that doesn't want it. Trust me, there are people that do not. I can no longer sacrifice my health or my Empathy to try and please them. It is no longer MY duty to extend more than a fair amount of "offer".
• I no longer let someone take advantage of my kindness, my talent, my creativity, my humor or my personality. Been there done that and what do I have to show for that relationship? (Imagine a pile of hot steaming poo in one or both of my hands).
• I no longer let someone try to change who I am to benefit them. If I am sharing happiness with them, and they are only receiving, not reciprocating, then the deal is null and void.

So here I sit as a 42 year old, I've learned more in the last ten years of my life, than I ever did in school. I myself, I am happy. There are hurts in my life, but, if I balance the hurts vs. my happiness, I am blessed! I have amazing and beautiful friends. I have supportive and loving family. I have three dogs that make me smile DAILY. I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy, and talent oozes from my pores. I don't focus on the sad, the anger, or the hurt.

I challenge people to enjoy what they have in front of them and not base their happiness on what they still want. Sit and watch those you love, so that you can physically see happiness in action. That part of life is free. It's free and it's rewarding.

Happy Friday my lovelies. You deserve to feel inside of you, that in which the world should see more of.

Hello everyone!

Well, I must apologize to you the readers. I previously erased a lot of my old posts. Why? They were very aggressive and filled with hurt. I am not like that. Even though I (like so many others) have been going through a transitional stage of life, and I still have my bad days, things are actually amazing right now. Again, I still have my moments where things feel overwhelming, but I am working through those times. I am learning more about myself and what need to be done to get to my final destination. I don't believe my final destination is in this lifetime, as we never truly stop learning. If we do, then we begin to die much quicker than we already are.

While I still feel disappointment with situations and certain people that either are not living up to their potential, or are doing things that are not benefiting themselves in the long run, I am OK. I feel badly that they will learn the hard way and it is going to hurt them deeply. That, though, is not my issue, it is theirs.

The life of an extreme Empath will always leave heavy prints upon one's heart.

Soon, very soon, Robyn and I will have our certificates for hypnotherapy, which is a wonderful step in our lives. Our writing is going splendidly, the show is over the top, and other plans are in the works.

Life is so exciting!!

Hope that your weekend has been peaceful and entertaining. I will begin writing again, it's always in my heart to.

<3

A New Moo

AMAZING Words of Wisdom to Live By!

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”




A New Moo

Adventures in Sharing the Written Word..

What is my new fascination with writing? I believe it has always been there, I’ve always admired it quietly and rather secretly. The opportunity of picking up a book, even as a child, and reading the words was a thrill. The admiration that someone could gather certain words, put them together in coherent sentences and paragraphs, with the ability to make my mind able to picture exactly what I thought the writer was trying to say is an exhilarating feeling! Many a day dreams have been produced with the help of a well written book.

I always wonder what kind of environment certain writers work in. It’s not hard to unrealistically imagine JK Rowling sitting in a little dimly lit room made into the earth, wands and potions surrounding, giving her the inspiration for Harry Potter. Logically, if I’m not mistaken, I remember reading about her sitting in a tea shop for hours, only ordering hot water, using her own tea bag on the account she literally didn’t have two nickels to rub together.

I imagine C.S. Lewis, sitting on the moors, overlooking the beautiful waters, and scenery, using that as his inspiration for Narnia (because really, couldn’t each and every one of us imagine us enjoying spending time there). When in reality, I can only imagine he truly sat behind a large Redwood desk, hand carved, possibly with a wardrobe to the side that he could imagine an ordinary piece of furniture into a traveling machine of sorts.



Of course, even as a child, I remember reading Stephen King books, imagining him working in an old Maine house guarded by a creepy iron gate, a lighthouse or two nearby. I can see him using material from a foggy Maine evening, utilizing his phobias to create a storyline for his fan base to creep-out while reading.  Oh wait, he really does write like that in a house like that. My bad.

So, what would my ideal location/environment be for me to be inspired and write freely when the urge washed over me?  Well, it would be in a small house (of course, don’t we ALL want that?) out in the middle of nowhere, to experience the quietness and serenity needed. I would love for the room to be in a musty attic room, which is safe and cool, looking over a beautiful view whether it is the ocean, mountains or even just out in the country. Giving me the opportunity of reflecting on what appeals to my fancy, and challenges my writing skills and imagination.

Just in typing this up, and looking at these wonderful little areas of creativity, I am itching to jot down a million different things floating around my noggin.  The opportunities are endless!

A New Moo

I Am Merely Melissa...

Of course, there will never be anyone just like myself.

There will always be different versions, parallel traits, similar tendencies, but never anyone exactly matching my thoughts, expressions, feelings, soul, spirit, creativity, personality or even actions.  That can be said for each and every one of you as well.

	unique
	adjective
	one-of-a-kind; w/out equal

I know that everyone abuses this word, making people roll their eyes at even a glance in a comment. The word unique has become over used, just like several other words that mean, original, different, etc.  Let’s try the word unprecedented, I’m sure to some extent that word is also over used, but far less by myself, and possibly others.  It has its own meaning yet generalizes that of original.

Ever since I was a child, I had the tendency to feel out of place. Look at that as you will, I am sure a lot of children felt that way. Forever I was told I have an old soul and at that young, I never understood what they meant. I do know that I could watch a person, pick up on their sadness and then I felt sad too. I cried easily at movies, I took things extremely personal (wasn’t everyone supposed to take things personally?) and told a lot that I was such a girl and a crybaby. Well, I was a girl, and I did cry, just as every child, regardless of the gender or age should do when their emotions trigger their “feel bad”.

If you ask me if even boys should have cried, well hell yes, they have feelings don’t they? If they are standing amongst their friends and someone says something hurtful, do you think they should just take it? Leave it bottled up inside, telling themselves over and over again how stupid, ugly, fat, thin, poor, etc they are? Why is it that our society feels that boys should never express what they are feeling? Do you not believe this makes them dysfunctional on several different levels? Men that tell their sons to “toughen up and deal with it” have issues of their own.

This works with girls as well. Telling a girl she can not do something a boy would do (that’s a man’s job) is just plain ridiculous. I get the whole upper strength situations on some careers, but on a broad aspect of options, girls really can do nearly everything a boy can. Why must society say that if we are girls aren’t playing with dolls or wearing dresses, we aren’t acting in a socially acceptable manner? How is that entire realm of demographic profiling even considered morally and spiritually acceptable?

I will be the very first to admit, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I have never denied that. Some days are easier than others. Each and every day brings (to all of us to one degree or another) our own tolerances in haters, abusers, levels of friendship, our definition of stupidity; that list could never be verbalized upon one write up, it would take days, weeks, years to name all of those things we measure, either trying to level them out or accept it and move on.

I will also acknowledge the fact that my feelings do get hurt easily. If you are blessed with the ability to let things roll off your should and slough it off, be thankful; I work every day of my adult life trying to NOT feel the domino effect of another’s words/actions in my life. I recognize this flaw, and have come (believe it or not) a very long way from where I started out, yes, even on social networks. I am going to say, 11 years ago, being on(that version of so) social network meant, Telnet chat sites,  Live Journal, Citizen X, etc.

I can easily have a disagreement with someone, as long as there is some common courtesy and a tad bit of empathy that is displayed on both sides.  If anyone feels they must express forceful words, intimidating actions/reactions or loud stern scolding, results in something other than disagreeing, technically it is then an argument.  I do not do well with confrontation; I never have, and most likely never will. I struggle in hurting the feelings of others, even when I might be trying to explain, protect or defend myself.  My entire being can not function in that manner.  Some people understand that in me, some people do not, nor do they care to. Showing any form of humility, suggests weakness to them, when for me it is a very emotionally sad feeling.  

Clearly, I am not perfect, as no one else around me that I love and adore is either.  When stating this very obvious fact, I am not proclaiming to be broken, merely hardwired differently. I am not flawed, but neither are you.

When I am your friend, I want you to feel you can come to me with problems or needs. I want to be remembered as an individual whose heart was true, always trying to find justice and/or acceptance for everyone I encounter. I do have my selfish needs, I worry about people that don’t want or maybe even need that burden (I’m working on this).  I am able love in a way that some people can’t handle, feel awkward with, would rather ridicule instead of understand or accept.  I enjoy making and seeing people smile, laugh or feel happiness.  I love being goofy, and I do own my fair share of snarkiness that doesn’t always settle well with people. I am not weak, but I do possess certain weakness, although, who made the determination on what is weakness and what is an attribute? Did our society today fall off the wrong side of the wall, persecuting what could potentially be what the intentions of this planet were founded on?

• Loving thy neighbor?
• Innocent until proven guilty?
• Treat others as you would want yourself (or even let’s say your mother) to be treated?
• The responsibility of our own actions?
• Embracing Humility and Humanity?

Obviously that is a mere drop in the bucket when it comes to basic foundations of what human creatures of earth are technically responsible for.  We trade love for distrust.

Once I was called a psychopath by a person who consistently lies, well, sir, to you I say, I am no more a psychopath than you are an honest and kind man. I choose to express my feelings, because I walk away from being disgraced or lied about, a psychopath does not make.  You must either hurt so badly that you want the entire world to hurt with you, or, you are completely detached from anyone and care only for your own welfare. Something I can not change, nor wish to change, that is your issue to deal with, not mine.

If our paths cross(ed), and it has become tiresome to both of us, or even stressful, it’s time to part ways. I have not travelled your life path, and you have not travelled mine. The opportunity to know one another is gift enough, accept the outcome and search for the next turn in your destiny.

Projects Galore!

I have so many projects in my head, I need to write them down in an outline or list so that I can organize them all. I don't want to forget any..

List of Weekend Projects

1. Crafts
1. Umbrella
1. Finish unstitching material
2. Organize pattern for design
2. Etsy Store
1. Take photos 
2. Create write-ups for easy uploading
2. Craft Room
1. Organize materials by type
1. Yarns
2. Materials
3. Tools
4. Finished Products
2. Set up room as wanted
1. Move in Spare Table
2. Hang Baskets for filling
3. Add Shelving
3. Getta’ yer Butta’ movin’ as you only have three days! ;)

So.. I love some of these craft room set ups:

OMG I could do this for hours..Someone.. please help me! Give me your ideas and suggestions!!

. o O (DAYDREAMS) O o .

A New Moo

**PS thank you to EVERYONE who's photos these are! There are some AMAZING and beautifully talented people out there!

A part of growing is learning what you are, or have become..

When people see me from the outside, they think of me as a plain Jane mother and grandmother. Many say I don’t look my age, but I sincerely love being 41. Most people believe they can see my soul through my eyes, and probably they can. I rarely protect myself from strangers; I don’t usually put up the walls.  I’ve been publicly prosecuted for having a personality, sense of humor and even for easing tension to try and make someone feel comfortable in unsure surroundings. Not to sound conceited but, I have picked that apart several different times and ways, and it was always done by someone that was jealous that their personality didn’t shine naturally.  I can see that, I’m sure they already know that, but don’t want to recognize it or accept the truth in it.

I know a lot of people say “I always felt different growing up”. I think a lot of us do. Possibly between the option of reincarnation, or being born as an Indigo, Crystal or Rainbow child, a sensitive, having survived a terminal illness, or even just the environment in which you were raised. Some people are born with “it” and others aren’t. Take Dexter Morgan on “Dexter”. He wasn’t “different” until a traumatic event took place, then he became different. He wasn’t born that way, then, technically “raised” that way.

I don’t think that I ever felt that I was adopted, but I did feel (and we are talking every waking hour) that I didn’t fit the way I was supposed to. Socially, I was shy at first, but then opened up, and was a ham to experience making people laugh or smile. My heart was big, and I tended to gravitate to the social outcasts and quieter bunch. I didn’t consider myself a leader, so if they followed, I just entertained the situation and accommodated what I could. I was always the helper, soother, comforter, fixer, helper and mediator, even at a very young age.

While other kids were more worried about watching cartoons on Saturday mornings, or playing Atari on Saturday nights, I was far more interested in sitting outside, listening, feeling, experiencing. Don’t get me wrong, I was a whiz at Pong, but I’d much rather sit in the dirt, feel the earth, smell the rain, the sunshine and the breeze against my skin. Yes, even at a very young age. Most kids don’t want to do that, but I did, and always will.  That part of me will always remain childlike; I will make sure of it.

Then there were the days I would be 9 or 10 years old, downstairs and FEEL someone watching me. Was there high EMF down there? Possibly, was I super sensitive to EMF even then? That of course is a HUGE possibility. Or how about the instinctive draw to water, fire, rocks, trees, dirt, plants, the sky, loving the moon and the feelings it gave me even back then? How about the urgency to enjoy camping, and appreciate the simple things of being one with nature? How about the infinite fascination and ability to feel and absorb energy from making a fire, watching it, or seeing a lightening storm? Then there is the nearly immediate understanding of being able to craft without someone showing me how, the constant need to learn or research and find out for myself? Or, how very smooth and rather easy manner in which I seemed to understand animals without even trying.

In looking back now, I can see the all of the signs of being an Empath. I think I knew all along, THAT was a part of me that truly was different. It wasn’t a forced thing, it was natural. I didn’t brag about it, because I was smack in the middle of it without even realizing what “it” was. The feeling sorry for the underdog, constantly being told I was too sensitive (well duh), looking at a friend and just knowing (and completely feeling) that something was wrong, they were upset, ill or sad.

So, with that entire gift given “knowledge”, I can tell you that it is an understanding when you see/feel a fraud.  These things don’t just *poof* happen to you overnight. They don’t just absorb into your system the second someone shares with you their excitement of either examining a situation, or actually having an amazing event happen for them to go through. You don’t obtain through the process of osmosis, instantaneous access automatically becoming something through the process of jealousy due to another person with their abilities.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I am no more important than you, as you are no more important than I. Each of us has our own special gifts and contributions to society and our own existing lives.   Making something out of what doesn’t even exist, only displays insecurities.  Trying to reach the top, of whatever we are striving for, mountain, job, most titles, doesn’t mean anything if you leave a trail of used and abused behind you. I never try to be something I am not. I don’t try to attack those that don’t know their own way. I do believe in myself, that I am important, and what anyone else says (in a negative manner) about me is worthless to anyone else. Those that fall prey to someone that will take advantage of them, have to learn that lesson on their own.

Polish a pile of steaming dog poo, and all you are going to get is shiny poo…