As the year wraps up

In the grand scheme of life, I know that many things are not sure. I know and recognize the fact that I am not perfect. While I strive in my life to be good, honest, and have the courage to challenge myself, I am forever and constantly learning.

• I love to learn, I always have. 
• I have learned that I am actually a very strong person beneath the tender heart. 
• I can stand on my own when it comes to being taken advantage of, and stand strong with those that have been wronged. 
• I have the desire to make the world a better place, even for my enemies. 
• I am kind, reliable and trustworthy.
• I see the individualism of each person I encounter; recognizing their strengths as friends and individuals.

Life is a beautiful gift. It's often hard with hurdles to overcome. Nothing worth having is easily come by. All challenges define who you are by how you handle them.  It's never sunshine and butterflies all the time, I don't care who you are, you have to  be realistic. Having a positive outlook on life is great and should be the norm, but everyone is going to have a bad day now and then.  You are going to lose someone, get turned down for a promotion, struggle with money, there are always going to be wrenches thrown into the machine work. Deal with them the best you can and move on.

Live life for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow, live in this moment. Often, the very best times of my life are when times are tough, there's a struggle, and yet, it never feels quite as devastating down the road as it did in it's toughest moment.

What I am trying to say is, enjoy your life, enjoy the kisses, the hugs, the good food, the lessons learned, time with your family, friends and pets. Drive safely to see them all again, take a walk now and again to help your health, write a kind word for a friend in darkness, make a family tradition, take a photo, read the book you always wanted to, volunteer your time.... Don't let another moment pass you by where you regret the journey to your 'here and now'.

Happy New Year my friends and family, wishing you a wonderful and prosperous 2011.

Disappointment In Supposed Maturity

Sometimes, all I can do is shake my head. All around me I see people purposefully hurting other people for their own gain and satisfaction. In looking around, I tend to barely see the "In the middle of the road" clan that just want to be happy and quietly live while voicing their concerns, opinions and feelings once in awhile.  On either side of that, I see a large amount of "it's cool to be an ass" people and "Love and light and butterflies and people posing to be amazing and almighty". 

On the ass side, they are cruelly spreading lies and rumors so that they will feel as if they are on top.  They are purposefully trying to damage others, and don't have a conscious about it. That is not only disgusting, it is scary. This is me speaking as an observer AND one who has been on the receiving end of these passive aggressive bullies.

Then there are the people (and really, you can just tell, some can't but yuck, usually you can just tell) that spew kindness and love through their mouth while they are stabbing the people that look up to them and adore them, in the back. They have very little self confidence so they connive and manipulate, smiling while people are suffering, yet try to remain "holier than thou" for the public view. This I have also experienced, on the watching,  and the receiving end for a relationship as well.

I am not perfect, no one is (no really, YOU aren't either, I know it's tough when you want to control everything but you are not perfect) and slinging poo really is very childish and immature.  "Age is no guarantee of maturity." Everything that *I* worked for was in a way "taken away" because someone was so amazingly jealous and insecure they felt the need to not only take some of my prided work away, and call it their own, but felt compelled to have others (their minions) turn away from me as well.  Not cool and rather hurtful I might add.

I see that more and more, and it gives groups of certain individuals a very bad name. I'm very glad I am not associated with that filth any longer, and that truly is what it is, filth. I also know that people are hurting over broken/lost relationships because of people like this.  Here is where I say, learn to move on.  Learn to make yourself happy.  If someone has used and abused you (while you weren't paying attention OR it happened so quickly you didn't realize what was going on) .. forgive yourself for allowing it, and remove them from your life.

Send a small note of "thanks" to those you love, and who help you to dust yourself off, and appreciate them in your life. Do not let people take advantage of you (and they will). Teach yourself (and learn) how to find those in the middle, the true people, the ones that are just like you, tired of the BS. 

Small vent, but, overall, this very second in time, I am extremely happy and excited, my life is wonderful and I dont' have to lie about it to "play the part" for society. I smile, I laugh, I share, and I love.