How Can You Deny What You Feel?

And yet, another writing, I can’t help it, it’s in my blood. I must type to not only share, but to express thoughts that are inside of me that some of you would understand without me typing it up, yet, are swallowed by my words regardless and enjoy the insight.

It didn’t take me long to fall asleep last night, that in itself is very unusual. I did ask my spirit guides to be on call and ready because I did want to astral travel to where the storms were and help where I could. I think that probably instigated nearly instant sleep.

I do remember feeling very cold, and wet, and being surrounded by darkness. I helped people and animals alike. There were a lot of elderly that needed help, mostly to get to higher parts of their house, and some that had no electricity in their apartments. Animals were having a very hard time not only keeping warm but dry.

It’s easy to joke about natural disasters. It’s disheartening when you see a minister say that the reason people are being hit by Sandy is because they are gay, or support gay couples and marriage equality. (http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/hurricane-sandy-minister-blames-gays-and-pro-homosexual-romney-and-obama/politics/2012/10/29/52533) I can’t change idiots like this man, but I can help anyone in my path regardless of their social status, income or political/religious beliefs.

I feel very tired today, as most of the night I was working (and as you know, working in water, cold, and lifting people really zaps your energy). I know that some of you will read this and say “Astral travel really doesn’t happen) and of course that is your right to believe. I can tell you details about last night, for instance. This older lady and her cat, were in their little house. The water hadn’t come in yet, but it was going to. I helped her upstairs, covering them with blankets, and ran back downstairs only to lift her treasures off the floor, or run them upstairs. I can tell you her carpet looked like this (http://1000sofrugs.com/Oriental-Rugs/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Kimono-Gold.jpg) and her furniture was old-ish and precious to her. She had two high back chairs that I carried upstairs, along with vases, photos (in frames), a wicker chest that she used as a coffee table and a small end table. That was just in the living room. Her tiny kitchen table was small enough to put on one of the counters, and the chairs believe it or not I could fit in the sink (the legs) to keep them from getting wet. I rolled up a small rug and put it upstairs with her, and told her I had to go. She was so frightened, but I hugged her and pet her cat and they had each other when I left.

Along my travels I can remember helping a runaway teen get into an empty building, a first responder take an elderly couple to a shelter (they were in their cars trying to evacuate), and help calm some children that were afraid when hearing the exploding transformers. I never had to find the people that needed help, I was always placed exactly where I needed to be. My guides helped me a lot, and believe it or not, I saw a lot of other people out there, that were only there in spirit, helping. I even had the feeling that some of them were not from this time, this dimension, or even this planet.

I think I needed this experience as much as these people needed the help. I think people will always take the time to point out my faults, or even make up faults to deter people from getting to know me. If there is one thing that I never take lightly, it’s helping others. I will always (and always have) stand for those that can’t stand for themselves. I will always extend a hand, an offer. In those times, I might be rejected or even broken down, but I will never stay that way. I will always rise above their pettiness and be there for those that want and need my help. That is how I was raised. That is how I was born.

While, there are going to be many things you are upset about, whether it be politics, religion, hurtful people, situations, etc, think about this. We have an obligation to rise above those hurts to help others. If you needed help, I would hope that someone would step up and show you the same courtesy. Sometimes even the smallest of “help” can change the hearts hardened by even the toughest of reactions. How about the offer of a coat, blanket, bottle of water, the offer of a shoulder, a hug, holding a hand or even just listening without judgment, tell me those very small gestures don’t end up meaning something enough to someone to make them cry.

You were placed on this earth for a purpose as well. What is your purpose? What is your destiny? Do yourself a big favor, think about what you can do, and pay it forward. You will feel better for doing so, and who know, you might even meet someone following your same path.

Much love and still comfort, safety and warmth to those that suffered much damage this October storm of 2012.

<3

But it's the truth!

Here I am. I am home, happy, and ready to type it all up, being with Robyn for a week, up in New York, has made me want to write, no really sit down and write. She is an amazing inspiration like that, in so many ways. Let me detail this out for you.

We’ve all had our issues from time to time. I sat down and did a five card reading for Robyn and well, it really did lay out all of what has been happening, will happen and is bound to happen. I do enjoy sitting down and doing tarot, but to be honest, I’m still getting the hang of it (learning it), and I’d rather rely on my intuition and Empathy as opposed to relying on the cards for information.

I understand that there are some amazing tarot card readers, but most I have noticed rely too much on what the cards say. It’s nearly an impersonal reading of something that shows little to no emotions. But, in doing this reading for Robyn, we talked in detail about it, and that part was very personal. She used her intuition as well and it made for a very detailed reading.

I won’t go into detail about her reading, as it’s not any of my business to share, but I can say, some of her reading I honestly believe included me in which she agreed. In that aspect, we are on our way to things greater than even we imagined, that excites us both.

Of course, there wasn’t enough time to spend in New York with Robyn. I was lucky that I made it back home before Hurricane Sandy moved closer inland. Wednesday of course was spent traveling (flights) until at least 2pm Eastern time, but after that, we did everything that we could. Robyn is such an amazing host. I don’t think people get the chance to get to know her, as they would be surprised. Being jealous of her and treating her like crap only shows the downfalls and immaturity of the people that treated her that way. They know who they are, and they might even be reading this post. If so, you know who you are.

I have noticed (and expressed it to Robyn) that we complement each other in our spirituality and metaphysical events. We are like conduits to and for each other. I don’t think that happens that much in friendships, whether it’s about paranormal investigating, writing or just our views and opinions expressed to each other. On our Thursday travels via first class on the train, we met an older gentleman (named Bill) that said “Are you two sisters or do you just love each other like sisters”? He didn’t know us but he could feel the connection that the two of us have. It isn’t forced, it comes naturally. I think possibly from the very first time I met Robyn; I knew that we were a lot alike. Even in talking with Robyn about us being so alike (and yet different in a few ways) how the saying “Opposites attract” really doesn’t ring true in most cases. We took a picture with Bill, we’ll have to see how it turned out and we’ll post it.

Then, we also met Tatiana at the Metaphysical store, she was wonderful! She talked to us like she’d known us all of her life, Robyn, and the very kind heart that she has, gave her a pair of homemade dowsing rods that she LOVED and felt so humbled in receiving. Robyn is going to keep up with her and her dowsing experiences. Suffice it to say that we made yet another very adored friend in our travels. When we are together, we seem to attract true natured people. I love that about our friendship.

(There are so many things I want to type; I need to remember them all!). You KNEW we were going to do investigations (paranormal) while we were together. The cemeteries there were from the late 1700’s (and pretty different than any of those here in Texas). Late one night (just before midnight?) we went to one that was out in the country, and got an amazing EVP of a man telling us his name was “Chuck”. We couldn’t see the headstones because it was so dark, and after going home to Google the names there, they didn’t come up with a Chuck or a Charles, however, the next day we arbitrarily drove by the very same cemetery and pulled in during daylight. Approximately 10 feet away from as far as the car could go; there was the headstone of a Charles (with a son named Chad). What a wonderful confirmation! (Soon to find out one of many we would experience while together in New York!)

The same night we came back from the cemetery, we went to bed very late (reading, investigating, etc). I was nearly asleep (in one of the most comfortable beds, rooms, etc. that any guest could even begin to ask for!) when I heard a woman moaning just inside my door (on my right side). It was not Robyn, as she was asleep behind a closed door with her dogs. It was no one inside the house. I opened my eyes, and tried to look over towards the door (even though the room was very dark) but couldn’t see anything (more on another night in a bit). In the morning I did tell Robyn that about what happened, confirming yet another bout of events that happened to Robyn previously in that exact room while she was getting it ready for my stay. (I truly do love confirmations!).

Do you kind of see where this is all going? People take for granted that Robyn is just someone they can try and manipulate, but that is not true. She does not take crap from anyone, and that is a good thing! She is kind, she is snarky, and she is EXTREMELY intelligent! She knows how to think outside of the box, she is creative and can out think a lot of people I know. Her talent truly can’t be measured as it is all over the board. She doesn’t have to copy someone else to try and be better than them because she’s already there. People try to copy her to be like her but then are upset with her because they can’t compare. She is a master dowser (if you ask me) and an EVP magnet (if you also ask me), and yet she can find humor in so many things. She doesn’t try to define herself by her abilities, her show or even or talents. So many people (I will refrain from using the names in particular) treat her like crap because they are beyond jealous of her (Robyn, that was the bottom card (the “reason” card) remember?)

Expect to see some exciting things from us in the future. I am so unbelievably lucky to have “found” Robyn. I can’t even begin to express or verbalize what she means to me. She truly is a sister to me. To all the haters, you can SUCK IT!

Thank you Robyn for the amazing week vacation in your beautiful home, in your beautiful little town, and for spoiling me ROTTEN with all of the food, the fun and the excitement!  Love you girl!!  

(PS- I am lucky to have a LOT of friends that are this important to me! I need to write about them as well!)

Lucid Dream Analysis

I don’t often share my dreams, but, I wanted to share this one. It was a lucid dream and below you’ll see why.

First, I’ll say that I meditated myself to sleep with binary beats. I cannot tell you how long the ear buds stayed in until I flung them out of my ears in my sleep. I will say I probably fell asleep around 11:30pm and woke up at 2:31am.

I was not at home, nor was I anywhere I recognized the environment or the beings. I do remember seeing some taller hills, grass, trees and small puddles of water. The odd thing, I was standing amongst this entire earthly atmosphere, however, there were cubbies inside the hills/mountains that were vending/concessions, for like coffee, mixed drinks, snacks, there was what seemed to be a small convenience store, and office buildings. It was like a strip mall only into the side of the mountain.

I can’t tell you why I was there, or why I didn’t have an ounce of family in view. There are times when I astral travel to places that are in complete chaos and I seem to be there as a Healer, helper, never a fighter. Usually when I do that, I have a male presence with me, that I’ve never met, that never speaks, but protects me with his very life to help others. He did not seem to be present this time.

People were scared and running around, I thought I recognized one person, but it must have been from another life, as I couldn’t recollect any information about them. She was an older female, and she was part of a militant operation. She was in plain clothing and trying to help others, so I joined her in trying to help others around me.

Parts of the mountain began to fall, and I watched it crush one man before I could get him out of the way. I generally don’t see death so close and up front as I did  last night, but it was the end of that world.

On counters and even large table-like rocks there were tall and narrow medication bottles (I’d say 4 1/2”) full of at least forty pills. That’s a lot of pills. They all looked a little different but were white in color. It was my assumption (before being told by this unknown lady I was helping) that they were suicide pills so that people wouldn’t suffer through the end of the world.     

I remember seeing THOUSANDS of these bottles, and being so torn as to what was going on. Again, you have to remember, this to me didn’t seem like earth, it seemed like another land, possibly planet. While the beings seemed like people, I do believe it was how I perceived them. Remember, everyone was running around very scared and panicked, it didn’t start out that way, but was quickly developing into the ruckus before me.

Would we be saving them only for everyone to parish regardless? Were we trying to save people that had already taken the pills? How long were the pills to take effect? Could it be that taking the pills would cause one to ascend before possibly a painful death, be it slow or fast? I remember the lady I was with taking the pills before even explaining to me what they were. She encouraged me to take them, without uttering a word, seems most things there were communicated through telepathy. She then told me that they were suicide pills but that they would not work on everyone. Was I included in everyone? How long before we would know?

Another panicked lady pointed out the fact that the puddles of water were boiling with acid (I sure do have a lot of dreams that include acid!), the earth (I say earth but the ground and mountains) were quaking, I never did see any animals, but it was after what I could only grasp as dusk, so I’m sure that made everything seem compounded in pressure and stress.

After taking the pills (40 is a lot at one time), I was encouraged mentally to run around and try and gather all of the bottles I could get and give them to people, unfortunately, most of them had nothing to swallow them with, and were popping them into their mouths while they were running. I would imagine where I was, was considered some sort of city, but it was pretty small. Being responsible however for these scared beings in front of me was surreal.

I remember recognizing the fact that the pills didn’t seem to work on me. The lady that I was, I guess a side kick to was fading fast. It was more of just falling asleep, and she was becoming slower and weaker by the moment. I on the other hand felt no effect, of course I had taken them a short while after she did, but I remember not even considering the fact that I was most likely going to die, only that I had to help so many people (and really it wasn’t that many in looking back).

It was at that time that I was standing pretty much in the middle of the city, everything was quaking and crumbling around me, I could hear the sizzling sounds of the boiling acid puddles, but that I still had this huge armful (in my shirt as well) of full medicine bottles … and I woke up.

Rarely do I wake up as much as I did this morning, I generally wake up and can roll over and fall back to sleep. Unfortunately Stuart was snoring loudly enough that I got up, let the dogs out (and back in) and fell asleep in the living room on a recliner.

I almost feel like I failed the task at hand. Maybe I was meant to do what I did while I was there and come back when I did. Maybe it felt like the pills weren’t working but really, it was a way to get me to wake up and “come back”.

This was all so very detailed.

PS- when I first started meditating in bed, with my eyes closed, and very still (and very comfortable), I kept seeing cobalt blue orbs and deep violet orbs blink sporadically. These were pressure lights, these were brilliant bright lights (possibly being sparked by my mind and the state I was in), I’ve never experienced that quite as intense as that before.

Have a fabulous Thursday!