Friday Morning Ramblings About You, Me, the Universe..

I know that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m actually OK with that. It took me a very long time to come to that realization, or rather, to accept that detailed fact of life. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I still don’t want to make everyone happy, I do. In my own selfish way, being the reason for someone sharing a smile or their day turning around is delicious to me. I realize that this kind of a self-centered feeling, but it’s mine. The intent runs deep as I really do want everyone else happy.

I’ve learned that I have to sometimes stop and indulge in myself as well. I look at it this way, they always tell you on the plane to put your oxygen mask on first then help others. There is a reason for that. You aren’t any help if you are passed out. Duly noted.

I’ve learned that I am not always going to be positive. I was once chastised for this, by a very self-centered but low confidence person. While, sharing disappointments or hurts with my friends on Facebook is acceptable, even snarking about them on the show, is something that helps with many processes in our lifetime. It enables us to learn from the situations, grow from experience and gives us the ability to move on. Being negative ALL the time is not healthy, nor does it encourage people to want to spend time with you, but, keeping a slight balance of happy, positive and encouraging thoughts, while showing that you are human and that you do have feelings is an important key to remember.

While, I’d love to think everyone sees me in THE perfect light (or the light that society wants to make you feel is perfect) like I am thin, rich, young, healthy, fully intuitive, psychic, aware, experienced, important, yadda yadda, you know the drill. I’m an Aries, **I’m passionate and a defender of the abused. I tend to be moody and short tempered, impatient and ..I think I should stop there *raspberry*, after all, I am the first sign of the Zodiac.

I recognize I have flaws (and I rarely hide those flaws from anyone). I’m a big girl (dieting works for a bit, but my weakness is food in general), I like to eat, I’m snarky, I don’t eat perfectly, I have gray hair, I’m a grandmother(Not that THIS is a flaw!), I’m 42, I’m married (uh, not that this is a flaw either), I indulge in coffee and cheese enchiladas (uh.. also not at the same time LOL), I’m embracing my metaphysical coming to, I didn’t just become it or fall into full fledge without studying it, experiencing it and sharing it.

But on the flip side, I’m love, I’m tenderness, I’m a natural born Empath, I care, I share, I Heal, I embrace, I learn, I’m open, I laugh, I cry, I love to hug and kiss and hold hands. I’m generous, enthusiastic, and independent. If you are in need, I do nearly everything to help. I do listen, but that wasn’t always there, it’s something I’ve recognized in the past, giving me strength to remember I don’t always have to be right all of the time. (Big lesson learned there).

You can either listen to others in their disdain for me, contempt for me or whatever horrible lies they might have to share with you. Or, you can take the time to get to know the real me. I know that I voice my frustration with people that are less than honest or say things that hurt others. Please see above **. But, I see something in every single one of my friends, I see their very souls. I offer free Healings (which by the way, tends to take a lot out of me) for them, I will always send them whatever vibrations they need to make it through, and that is because I love and adore them. I have very different relationships with nearly everyone that I have and will encounter. Take comfort in the fact that it is because everyone IS different, that part of them is embraced.

Let the haters hate. It makes you a stronger person, take heed with them, but rely on your inner strength to guide you. Sometimes the biggest haters are those in our own head; change that pattern in your life. Affirmations are good for helping with that issue. As my friend Dedra’s father said “If you know a snake is a snake, the snake won’t change just because you tell them they are a snake.” And that’s so very true.

Now, take a step back and look out into the Universe. Considering they estimate there are 100 to 200 billion galaxies in the Universe, what are we in this vast atmosphere? So very tiny, which in turn does not negate any personal feelings, wishes, thoughts or even travels nor should it make us feel insignificant. Just remember all of us make up an important part of this galaxy.

Much love to you, happy Friday and hope your weekend is calming and shows you serenity. <3

Stats Of My Blog

So, I thought maybe since I wasn't getting many comments here on Blogger, I should stop writing in public. While I do get comments on Facebook under lock and key, and a few in emails, I wasn't sure people were really reading them, or even truly interested in them.

I know that I tend to go on and on.. That's what Empaths do, in order to sometimes express what we're feeling or going through, we have to write it out. I rarely hide what I'm feeling. Over a 42 year life span, I have decided that people enjoy me (well okay, MOST do) and what I have to say. They can see my soul and they like that. Someone once told me, those who aren't thrilled with me OR take the time to lie about me, they see the same thing. For those that followed the path of someone else's lies about me, well, they are just blind and follow because they are intimidated and possibly being bullied. Truth.

So I was looking at my stats and I'm rather enjoying the information. It's like reaching into a grab bag and getting something you actually like!

United States	35
Russia	23
Denmark	2
Germany	1
United Kingdom	1

Russia!
Denmark!
Germany!

While, I don't know all of my visitors from the US (and the UK) this information makes me secretly squee inside my own head.

Pageviews last month 144 Pageviews all time history 3,214

Also, not bad... so, yes, I'm being read. This happens to reassure me to keep writing. Someone is reading. Someone hopefully appreciates my journey as much as I do. 

*waves*

Thank you for reading, where ever you are! Muah!

Posted In The Most Sincerity of Love

Everyone experiences a moment of clarity, even if it doesn’t last very long. I might be 42 right now, but 11 years ago when the devastation in the loss of lives happened, I was still maturing in my adulthood. This was before even knowing what an Empath was. It didn’t help that I saw and watched TV for days (when I wasn’t working) and compounded my grief and horror far longer than I should have subjected myself to do.

At that time, I had only been at this job for a year, so I knew the people, but I was still in the infancy of my career. I was less than a mile from work when the news came over the radio. I think I drove that short distance with my mouth open confused and dazed. On the radio they were also confused and the manner in which the spoke only added fuel to mass confusion. I pulled into a parking spot (still can remember which one to this day) and sat there for a few minute. I had to collect myself.

Upon entering the front office, it was eerily quiet and I stumbled my way to my desk, rushing to log on and to bring up the internet. What I didn’t know there were other coworkers in a room watching the TV in horror. I think I sat at my desk and cried all day.

One of my friend’s daughters worked in the towers. I had to get ahold of him to make sure that she was OK. I got ahold of him but he couldn’t get ahold of her. He lived in Florida and of course she in New York. It was HOURS before I received an email that she was fine and he was relieved, as was I.

The other person that I contacted (via email) was my friend in Ireland. Of course, he emailed me right away and asked if I was OK. Physically yes, emotionally, he was diligent in expressing his sorrows and heartache, someone so far away feeling all the loss that was felt here in the states.

The next month was pretty wrenching. There wasn’t a channel you could turn to that didn’t have information, photos, video, etc. I had a terrible time moving on because I not only felt my own sorrow; I felt THOUSANDS and thousands of people and their hurts and sorrows. Now, for not understand what the heck was going on with me in the first place, it nearly killed me.

Then, I met (via email) a man named Remi. His fiancé had perished that day and he was battling the mental fight for his life. I believe he found me, but we started emailing back and forth that lasted for several years after 9-11-01. He would tell me about how his day had gone, the emotions he was going through, and his dark thoughts of suicide. I believe we emailed each other almost every day, and like life, the emails got smaller and less frequent. Eventually they faded off all together.

During our emails, it appears to me now, that we needed each other. We didn’t know very much personal information about each other, but that didn’t matter. It was two people helping each other. There were no physical rewards, we would never meet, and we would never even exchange photos of each other. It was as if our paths had crossed for a specific reason, our odds of even finding each other, beyond astronomical.

In looking back now, I am able recognize that he might have been there for me (stop wallowing in my pity as it is minute compared to others) but I was there for him. I honestly believe that in me listening to him, sharing with him, talking to and crying for him, it helped him to be able to move on. He didn’t want anything from me except friendship.

I’m surprised I didn’t see it then, but even being a cancer survivor, I honestly believe now that most important purpose on this planet is to help, to help Heal, to strengthen tender souls. I didn’t just decide one day that I am a Healer, or that I am an Empath. It took years of me basically ignoring it or thinking it was just something weird about me.  I do have a purpose and it is grand in comparison to the rest of my life.

I remember this day every year, my heart hurts, some for myself, but mostly for others. I still get the twinge of thousands and their pain, but it’s less powerful now. That’s why, when people like Ann Coulter say horrible things about 911 survivors, she has absolutely NO clue. Not only is her soul bitter, but she only feels complete and important when she’s making others made and hurt from her statements.

I truly hope that Remi has moved on and found happiness again. I would love to communicate with him again and get the chance to see what he looks like. Some of our last writings included the statement that he wanted to move to Maryland and change careers (From IT to something that allowed him to travel). I also hope he found love again, and is living a wonderful life that he (and really that every single one of us) deserves.

Sending you all love and comfort on this day, I hope you can feel it from where ever you are, and know and understand that you deserve it.

<3

Sharing with you...

Even though I haven’t been sleeping well lately, I’ve been doing a lot of mental exploration both consciously and subconsciously. Last night was no different; I have been experiencing some epiphanies that are small yet valuable to my very existence. I don’t think they are just valuable to me, I think they are pertinent to each and every individual that has any cognitive curiosities of their own.

I honestly believe the hardest part of writing about these experiences is verbalizing exactly how the events/situations took place and who I related them to my quest for knowledge and a life of happiness.

Every level of our awareness can potentially provide key manifestations to our thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Often times we are moving so quickly through our lives, wishing away day after day, that we don’t invest crucial time in investigating our own problem solving skills. We allow immediate resolutions to command our daily outcome, rush through the hours without absorbing even the smallest particle of what could possibly be our own butterfly theory.

Case in point, I am not a summer person. To me, summer is an inconvenience, I don’t function well in the heat, I don’t like to go outside and explore, so my personal coexistence with nature is very limited. If I lived near a clean water ocean, sea or lake, that would be a different story (even though I am petrified of fish-yes, I know but I’ve seen River Monsters and at least it’s not something weird like pickles!).

I do utilize the time I spend indoors to the maximum extent, and never ever exclaim that I am bored. To be bored would mean that you are limiting yourself in things you could be doing, and there are infinite projects that could simply entertain your personality.  I’m sure that hit a sore spot, on saying we should never be bored, but, we really shouldn’t. We should be surrounding ourselves with information and knowledge concerning what interests us. We shouldn’t be limiting it to just one entertainment either. There are days I have so many projects in my head that I become ADD and feel like a cat chasing the laser light across the house, but I’m never bored. I might be tired, I might be ill, I might even be emotional, but I am never bored, none of us should be.

So, I know that when the cooler weather comes around, I will be spending a lot more quality time with nature, reintroducing myself to her, gathering, photographing, walking the dogs and camping, the possibilities are endless. The cooler to colder months are my most looked forward to times. My house is often cluttered, laundry is neglected more so than usual, but I am in my happy place and that is something to look forward to, as long as I don’t wish away the hot days, the weekdays or even the work hours.  Time to again slow down and appreciate the moments we have now.

One of the events that took place was astral traveling to another, I can only assume, planet or plain of existence. I myself have never seen the northern lights in person, only in beautiful majestic photos that induce my imagination to run wild. Last night, I was in a place that had stars so low to the ground you could touch them, they were very warm but didn’t burn, they were bright and lit a night sky. The atmosphere was breathable however; the gravity force was far different than what we experience here. With your mind, you could manipulate the space around you to conform to your body as if you were lying back in a hammock. At any moment if you needed to rest, you would “think” up a thickened space around you, simply crawl up into it and only be about five feet from the ground. If you needed the surrounding stars to be not so bright, you would also create a shade with that same thickened airspace and it would dim or block all of the light.

There were other creatures (although they didn’t look like creatures, more like spiritual beings) that were walking around (the ground almost resembled that of wet beach sand only not cold or slippery) and there were others that had created this pocket of comfort (that’s the only reason I figured it out). The emotional feelings there were comfort, serenity, contentment, all living in the moment existence. When I wasn’t “sleeping” or as they expressed it to me “revitalizing” I was taking courses on their methods of living, I was exploring, gathering, and overall sharing an existence that seemed like a short life time, when really I was probably there only a matter of an hour our time. I didn’t have any wants, except to learn more, there was no need for an exchange of currency, it was a very basic paradise of sorts functioning on coexisting, with intent of sharing, not feeding the need for competition. The process of extending your mind in all of its abilities was also the theme for this possible planetary adventure.

I remember when I first became aware of being there, and the stars were so small yet so powerful, I was overwhelmed a bit with the fact that I (and every single one of us in existence in this entire Universe) am so very small. We see it, we try to fathom it, but until you truly “get it”, it doesn’t stimulate all of the other quests to discover what we truly are.

Another situation that has encouraged me to write about it is the fact that while I’m astral traveling, if I haven’t actually arrived to a destination, there are so many other beings that can see me. They can see that very part of me that is not my physical self, and while people here on earth (in their physical state) often judge, bond with their clique, and are closed minded to anyone else having any talents, skills or gifts, these beings recognize all that is special within us. Sometimes, their intensions are less than pleasant or positive as well, but I usually encounter the beings and spirits that cherish our very being and somehow advocate for us to rely on the positive and energetic part of our souls, instead of feeding our ego, or allowing the bad and hurtful to be given away or displayed.

In other words, they are encouraging us to change our method of presentation to raise our own awareness and vibrations. Communication is far more than voicing words, its actual energies we give off every day, some can be seen, and some can only be felt. We have the potential of moving into a different state of consciousness where is a language we don’t physical hear, it becomes a spiritual intercourse of structured and organized expressions and vibrations. Since I was a child, I recognized that I could do this, but have you ever had an entire conversation with someone solely in an eye lock? Even if it’s someone you don’t know, locking eyes with them and feeling everything they feel, suddenly knowing things about them they’ve never told you, all within a matter of mere moments? Try it sometime, hopefully you can find a willing participant, on the train, bus, waiting in line, whatever occasion arises. Rely on your own intuition and spirit. I think you will be surprised.

Look, I’m not trying to say I have all of the answers, obviously since I’m just now (at the tender age of 42) starting to figure these things out. But I wanted to share this with you, the readers. I’m not asking you to change your faith, traditions or upbringing. I’m trying to encourage you to discover things about you that are not obvious to the rest of humanity. Explore your Universe; learn what can create an existence that is satisfying. If this is possibly only one of your lifetime existences, why not make this the one where you crack codes, move to another level of your being. I am extending my nurturing tendencies to others that have come to a realization, and even come to me with questions of what their reason for being here is. Doesn’t everyone deserve that opportunity? Even someone who might be so horrid and self-absorbed? 

The rights we have on this planet are existent only on this planet. We have true entitlements that are not written in stone, they need only to be discovered and treated with decency and respect, then shared so that others can utilize and appreciate them as well.

Happy Tuesday! <3

Lies will catch up to you

It might not be today, or tomorrow, but they will.

For someone, they already are.

Finally, people are seeing that it wasn't me.

I feel so elated and .. happy!