Things aren't always as they appear..

Open your mind and your eyes..

Monday, June 10, 2013

My White Trailer Trash Dream

I know, that title is kind of off-putting BUT it was exactly as it sounds.

The more I think about it, the more it feels like a previous life recall. Lovely. Is that really what it was? I'm not sure. I'll share it with you, but I'm not convinced it was so.

The dream started that I was married to this older man (say, 60ish) that was very controlling and well, also represented the title. I had no recollection of the what and how that led up to this nuptial agreement but, ew. I don't know what I was doing for a living but it was in the low pay grade and felt degrading. I saw myself as alarmingly thin, my hair was long and stringy and overall I looked poor and unhealthy.

The apartment complex we lived in was rundown, there wasn't much material wealth to be had. The section we were in had linked apartments of seven in a row. At the time I entered the dream, we were getting ready to go to a function, I think for his work, I remember feeling that I didn't want to go, and was kind of upset that I had to. Maybe I had to work early and felt tired, I don't remember exactly.

While at this low tech function, I felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave. My husband got very angry with me and yelled at me in front of everyone, in fact, I believe he left me there, where I didn't know where I was, or how to get home. I felt very vulnerable and it felt like someone had spiked my drink because I felt dizzy and misplaced. The next thing I knew, I was in bed at home with him, it was about 4am and I woke up feeling miserable. I told him I wanted a divorce.

He was angry and did not want to hear what I was saying. I picked up my things (which wasn't much) and walked to the apartment office and asked for another apartment on the opposite end. I didn't know how I was going to afford it but I got another apartment. It was filthy but it was somewhere to sleep.

Little did I know that my soon to be ex-husband and the landlord were buddies, because, the very next night, the landlord was putting some sort of sleeping gas in the vent system in my room, and they were carrying me to my ex's bed and letting another family back into the room I was staying in. Well, I would wake up, angry in my ex's bed, run back down to my other room, only to find the other family in my room, they were yelling and degrading one of their children so badly, that I called the police on them and the landlord and my husband. What a conspiracy.

Then, I woke up. But it all was so real.

I erased what I typed afterwards because it was a rant and I'm sure deemed unnecessary by others. So there you have it.

Have a good Monday.

<3 Moo

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