After my hurt and anger subsided, I found it odd that I actually feel sympathy for you. That’s right, sympathy. I never thought I would, but I see what you are heading for and it isn’t pretty. I see the direction that you are heading, and let’s be honest, I’ve see your reactions in the past, so I know what you are capable of and regardless of how nice, positive, inspiring or successful you are trying to be, I know the deep down of you. That, petrifies you.
Laying the situation out before me, has clarified some things that eased my hurt feelings. That’s right, I get them, and I’ve had them. I am normal and human; I am learning how to process through these situations. They have been there all along, but being human, we tend to instantly jump to the defensive, instead of slowing down long enough to recognize answers and solutions.
There are reasons that you lied, I see and know that. There will always be reasons you continue lie, to your friends, your family, and yourself. That makes me shake my head and wonder just how cosmically catastrophic your Karma will end up serving you. You will have to keep fabricating to extremes in order to keep up the role you are currently playing, in your play of life.
You didn’t know anything, but you didn’t have any desire to research, learn and teach yourself. You didn’t. I took the time to teach you (after teaching myself), I wrote it down in detail for you, I went there in person and I showed you the way to do things by yourself, and left a notebook of cheat sheets so that you could always refer to what you needed to know. I left on good terms with my integrity, my confidence and my desire to do other things.
But you, you didn’t like that, it wasn’t part of your plan. How dare I throw my interests or needs into the situation and take some attention away from you? How dare I not bow down to serve you, and endlessly promote you and your “boss”, wait, no, because we didn’t get paid for what we did.. all that I did so he wasn’t our boss. Thank you’s were in the same category as “F%#* you’s were, they didn’t exist. If it didn’t benefit you, or make the “boss” famous, popular or gain recognition, nothing at all outside of that mattered. But even that was so lovingly twisted and distorted to manifest into the perception that I left kicking and screaming with drama. Even though I typed up a very nice and professional email to the “boss” explaining, I didn’t get so much as a word in return. But you, with your ego hurting, you (and your friends) decide that it’s time to fuel the fire and manipulate the situation.
I had spent hours doing projects to help, and in the process, not only were they often not good enough for you, but you didn’t take the time try and do them; you didn’t take the time to teach yourself like I did. I worked hard and researched for hours on what needed to be done. I introduced new ideas, new procedures because I cared. You wanted to do your little bit and get all the glory. You do realize that shows a part of your true personality, right?
I took time away from what I enjoyed doing to help. The thanks I received from you in return have been lies. I know if you read this, or one of your friends reads this, you will recognize the truth in it. But you will push it away, and bury it deep and believe that it didn’t happen that way. Spraying beautiful flowery room spray in a barn will just make it smell like a flowers and dung. Just remember that.
Since I have removed myself from you forever, and have never contacted you ever, never responded to your emails, texts and/or otherwise, it angers you even more that I truly have moved on from you. However; in your constant need to manipulate (and with your friends) you have managed to turn into the victim and claim that I am harassing you and your friends. I have never contacted one of you. Not once. But, since I deleted you from a social network and blocked you, your egos were bruised and you insist that you have been wronged. Sleeping with and upon your lies with the ability to maintain a somewhat normal life is disturbing to me, but I will not be the one in the end that will be recognized as just so, a liar.
But, I will move on yet again. I am smiling. I have a huge support system without provocation. I have courage that your lies and opinions are worthless. I have my intelligence, my creativity, and the ability to not only share true love without displaying a mask for a fictitious personality trait, but, I do have the ability to truly entertain and bring a smile upon a friend’s face without trying to force it.
When, or rather, if, you ever happen to become rich, or famous, please do me one favor. Do not stop for the opportunity to think of me, because I have seen what you have done. I do not endorse your actions in using people for your gain, lying to people in hopes of admiration, and to all of those you have stepped upon and still remaining standing on, to get where you have arrived.
Again, I feel sorry for you, not for myself. My moving on has introduced me to amazing and caring people. My group grows stronger in faith, and love, every single day, while, yours sadly, is still small close minded and gazing through rose colored glasses. Blessing to you, and I truly mean that sincerely. May you recognize the issues that you suffocate in order to keep quiet and hide from others, before you pass on to the next level. I feel good about who I am, as I am not hiding anything from anyone, so the attacks no longer matter to me. I have a smile upon my face and since I have finally learned the lesson I was destined to learn, thank you but now you are no longer important in my life, at all, so move on.
A New Moo