Things aren't always as they appear..

Open your mind and your eyes..

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Laying it on Thick

I can't help but laugh. I really can't.  It's so forced and fake it is beyond me.

See, I honestly believe that true sincerity is not forced. It should come naturally.

That is all. *eyesprain*

Friday, January 28, 2011

Full Schedule!

February 12th
February 19th
March 18

*prances around merrily* Active paranormal schedule.  Another date might be added between that as well!

Will keep you all updated!

It's a go!

Awesome.. The couple just called us, it's a go! So many preparations to make, so many things to organize.

Robyn, thank you for your help in talking with the family! This is going to be an amazing experience for both of us!

A New Moo


The shower is coming along nicely.  The contractor is so nice! He's really going out of his way to make it look even better than we originally thought! Today has been a fantastic day.

Hubby and I cleaned out the garage on this beautiful day, cleaned out two closets, cleaned out the shed and the attic.  Seriously, we have a huge load of trash that is going to be picked up tomorrow, and a huge pile of donations to leave tomorrow also.  Amazing what clearing clutter and trash out of your house and your life will do.  It feels SO weight lifting and refreshing, gives you the feeling of progress and growth.

So, we have plans for the back room.  We will paint the room and clean white, there will be a standard bed, the crib, a dresser, and a full closet.  I have almost finished sewing the pretty curtain, and will put nice decorations on the walls.  It will be a nice getaway for Monica and Jacob.  I'm extremely excited for all of this.

I finished my protection sachets and they are exactly what is needed for this future investigation/cleansing of the house.  This house is in College Station so it's going to be a drive, but it's going to be so worth it.

All is right with my world.. and it feels delicious!

A New Moo

Well Well Well

Pretty soon.. you'll have blocked everyone around you, and your little 'clique' will be purple Kool-aid drinkers.

Shall we call you David Koresh now? *eye-sprain*

Your positivity is fake.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I just made

The most amazing protection bags. I researched and researched and added some of the most powerful stones, crystals, wood, herbs, and natural protection items.  I will finish the last one tomorrow, and post them on my other craft journal as part of my trinket a day.

These wonderful positive intended bags are for an older couple having paranormal issues in their house.  If all goes well, myself, my talented and dear friend Robyn and two ministers will be going to bless the house next weekend.

Definitely a learning experience!

Hear Hear!

‎"When someone lies to you, it is because they don't respect you enough to be honest, and they think you are too stupid to know the difference." ~ Kristy Hinkle

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I write more and more each day..

I have nearly become addicted to write.  I write about situations, experiences, feelings, life, growing up, learning, ideas about fictional situations or characters, it doesn't matter.  The more I write the more (and I've stated this before) I enjoy writing.  Did I know I always wanted to write like this? Yes.  Did I ever challenge myself to do so? No.  I'm sure that is why I am enjoying it more and more each day.

So, now I'm looking into one writing class at the college.  It wouldn't be so expensive..I wouldn't need it for the credits, just for the experience.  I'm really liking the Journalism and Communications class.  Oh now I'm even MORE excited!!

I'll post more later! TTFN!

A New Moo

Monday, January 24, 2011

Mainstreaming and Living Simply

I absolutely love being productive.  This house is becoming the epitome of living simply, which thrills me to no end.  With donating, throwing away, and selling, we are not only getting rid of things we don't need, we're giving them to people that can use them, and also helping to pay for the new shower in the master bedroom. THAT is going to rock.. Then, paint, a few wall decorations and a brand new house.

I've started sewing the new curtains, will also replace some of the blinds. Since I won't be here tomorrow, I've asked the hubster to take photos of the progress.  We figure it's going to take a week. Tomorrow after work we'll pick out the brushed silver hardware for the shower, and a new shower door.

Hubby cleaned out a closet, holy smokes, there is so much room now..and, we went through books that we no longer used or needed.  He took the books to half priced books, and with what he got, he bought me a wonderful book on crystals.  Holy smokes, that was extremely sweet and unexpected!

I'm going to bed.. smiling and on my friend Brandi who is really hurting this evening after a surgery (mentally and physically).

Negativity is the sorrow and the downfall of great things that can and should be! Even negative positivity!

A New Moo

And Really..

I am in an AMAZING spot in my life.  I would say even more so since Jupiter is in Aries now.. I can FEEL all of the amazing energies.  I continuously get encouragement from old friends and new.. I couldn't ask for more.

Friday, January 21, 2011

So true

"I have spent many hours seething with anger,it has passed now. Once again I have been played by a twisted mind that feels the need to tell horrid lies to get attention. I shall continue to wear My heart in the open because I do not want to miss someone truly in need of help. I refuse to feel like I have sucker writen on My forehead." ~ Studebaker Hawke
Thank you, dear for this! Stand strong my friend, as I have as well, and I will as well.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Increase in Confidence

I believe, since people shared with me all day yesterday, my confidence is so much more intact. I had not lost my self esteem, just .. set it aside I guess. 

On a fresh note.. this weekend after the Charity event, Hubby and I will be totally re-organizing the craft room (I GET SHELVES AND CUBBIES!) and getting rid of a lot of things we've been holding onto for some reason.  We are looking into buy a twin size bed for Monica, with room for the crib and a dresser in the back room, which gives them not only privacy but also the room is a bit bigger. This will give Monica a place to go while I spoil and love on my grandson until he's like AARRGGH.. although, it has been really fun Skyping with them.

He leans forward to see Grandma and Grandpa and then laughs and giggles.  I miss that boy.  I miss my kids. They are doing so well, and will be doing even better pretty soon. Here's a beautiful photo of them!

Beautiful and happy, married and now with our last name. 

So, we're going to paint the room, baby proof the house and get ready to have them here with us for a while.  Then it's off for them to live their own lives, closer than they were to us, but becoming responsible and adults with jobs and college.  I'm so proud!

A New Moo

**Edit.. PS-Greg..HAHAH Thank you for the laugh! Lavern & Stalin.. Love it!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wonderful passing..

Nostalgic thoughts..

Lately I have been thinking of moments in time.  Do I miss them? OOH yes.. Do I remember them fondly? Of course I do.  Maybe one of my moments will invoke one of yours.

  • Playing at Burlington Park in Alliance Nebraska, with my brother.
  • Playing games and spending the night at my friend Tanya's grandmother's house out in the country.
  • Eating the best biscuits and gravy at 2am at Country Kitchen.
  • Standing in the parking lot of the apartments in Scottsbluff near the hospital.. snow falling all around me at night.. spinning my arms and wishing I were kissing Jason
  • Getting up at 4am to watch the sunrise in Cornet Heights
  • Camping out at Little Lake Alice
  • Throwing up in American History Class
  • Slobbering over "Menudo" on Tammy's poster
  • Tasting my very first bagel and cream cheese over at Angie's house
  • Locking myself out of the apartment building on Lover's Lane in California
  • Sitting on an airplane for 6 hours two days before Christmas to get Mason back to Nebraska for the holidays
  • Being pregnant with Mason, eating cheese enchiladas at Taco Town
  • Using Veronica as a search engine in 1995 (HAHAH!)

I love having wonderful memories come back to me.

A New Moo

I have been called out

And.. I am brave enough to say that .. they are right. I hate admitting I still have issues.  I guess I didn't realize I still did, but I do.

"I see many of your words and actions still being in response to (their) (ok i'll just say it) abuse.  You frequently proclaim that you are free of the negative influence. While that is technically true, your need to point that fact out means your healing is incomplete. That is understandable; the psychic wounds of a toxic relationship are deep and long-lasting (having been through it myself I sympathize). When you can go about your life without a care about what (they) think, and don't feel the need to point out you don't care, you will be truly healed. And I hope you know I say this somewhat harshly because I care about you and your happiness. Although it is easy for me to say "move on" I know it really isn't that easy."
So, back to the drawing board I guess. I will say that I don't understand why people feel the need to hurt others. I do not understand the reasoning behind having to have everyone adore and look up to them, while they stand  on top of people to get there.

Lots of meditation tonight.  LOTS.  Universe, please give me the strength to just "get over it".

A New Moo

I am

Going to do things a little differently! It will be much healthier and happier for myself and my friends.

It's OK though.. it was duly noted. Losing small battles does not a war lose..

Monday, January 17, 2011

Beautiful Start to a Fresh Week

Outside, it's rainy, and dreary, but it is beautiful.  The temperature is absolutely perfect for staying comfortable in light winter clothing.  The air smells fresh and the misty fog is soothing. I love days like these, believe it or not, even when I am at work.

Speaking of my work, there has been a huge change since October.  I had a very long talk with appropriate people, and I am amazed on how comfortable I fit in now.  I celebrated my tenth year, and feel that I will be here for an even longer time now.  For the longest time, I was so stressed here, and really, not very happy, but now, after much meditation on it, my Spirit Guides have shown me why it was such a struggle before.  I was doing too much for everyone else.

I was giving and giving, with needy people still wanting more and selfishly taking all that they could, and I wasn't replenishing myself with what *I* needed at the time.  The more I would do for them the more they wanted, would take, and then take credit for.

I made a good decision for myself in breaking away from the antagonistic toxic people that were constantly insecure in their own abilities and diffident in their actions.

So, today I have to type up the healing I did last night for a 6 week old puppy (he was SOOO sweet and wonderful!!), finish my trinket (which is already started), work on my costume, write again at lunch, finish typing up Susan's message...  Love it, a solid day of proactive and productive things. 

Tonight, meeting a friend for dinner, we deserve to talk, a lot of things have happened between our last time together and now. Sadly I will have to apologize for other people's actions, and then try to either apologize for mine, or my association with previous people.  I'm adult enough to know that I am not perfect, I will make what I can right between us again.

Until later, I will blog again. Hope everyone is having a wonderful and blessed day!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Reality of One's Actions

I have this friend, G, she is well, simply kind hearted and sweet.  It hasn't been until recently that she and I have reconnected. I had talked to her on a show about two years ago, and was simply amazed with what she did, how talented she was in all that she did.  I don't even think SHE realize how much I admired her for her inner light, her talent and her kindness.

Today, I worried (for her) about something she wrote as a disclaimer on her blog.  Instead of assuming, I went straight to her to talk to her about what she had typed.  Instead of jumping to conclusions on what *I* read from her words, I acted in a mature and adult fashion, and simply asked her. The nice thing, no wrong ideas came about, she was kind and simply told me what her feelings were. I happen to agree with her on her feelings.  Which leads me to understand not only her nature more deeply, but, we understand that if we have questions or are worried or hurt by words, all we need to do is ask.

She's a true blue.  She recognizes the thorough process of her spirituality, just as I do of mine.  Some, they jump into it full swing and they don't think of others that might be the end result or consequence of one's carelessness.  They insist on their prestige and that is dangerous. They don't research, they abuse the system of someone offering advice or small council, then they stand on top of a mountain and proclaim that they see all, know all and can cure all. I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for someone else believing in false "prophecies" if you will.

I will end this post with my tarot reading... Nice!

Sunday, January 16
The Empress
Earth Mother. Creation. A woman constantly full of new ideas and thoughts. A woman who gives new life to herself. A trail blazer. A female presence that is caring and motherly. Fertility. Birth of an idea or new energy. Family issues. Hearth and home. The need to focus on family. Feminine healing. Need to cultivate your own creativity. A woman unto herself, not dependent on a partner for fulfillment. A ruler and leader of others. Motherly-type.

"Be a hand that reaches out. Be a smile for those who have no reason to smile. Be a light for those who live in darkness. Show them what it means to truly love.." ~ Jen

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Such a Beautiful Day

Upon looking outside, it's rainy, and dreary, but it is amazing. It's beautiful, and makes you feel cozy inside your home. when you get things accomplished, and in order the way you want/need them.  Planning meals and the week ahead of you.

I've been writing a lot more lately, about experiences, situations, past, present, future and I am amazed how the words have been flowing.  It would seem the more I write, the more I want to write.

Since I've been journaling online for about 13 years now, typing and even writing the words bring to life what has been in my head since I was a child.  I've always been blessed with the understanding that taking the small things into your life and nurturing them, will remind you later in life what is really important.  Sharing that information helps others to experience their power of imagination as well.

I just stopped long enough to make not one, not two but three trinkets.  I love my life!

"Embrace those who love you, and rid yourself of those who bring you down." Melissa Sehgal
Tata for now! <3

A New Moo

Friday, January 14, 2011

Exciting Events and the Weekend

Fridays are like a breath of fresh air. It's nice to go home after work and just be able to start the weekend.  This morning started out with a Ginger Apple Smackdown, a recipe that my beautiful Shamanic friend Kashanna shared.  Oh My Goodness it is WONDERFUL and now I am hooked. Then, ten minutes on the mini trampoline, after than ten minutes of stretching and limbering. Followed by a shower, a dance around the house while getting ready for work, a love on all of the dogs and out the door I was.

Work has been extremely productive already, and with all being said prior to this moment, it has been working smoothly.  I nearly have today's trinket finished (one I am nearly positive will invoke a bit of happiness with my fellow trinketeer Beth. I have some final touches to do but I am excited to share it.

Which brings me to a few other things I've been enjoying lately. I can not completely put into words the amazing comfort I receive in hand sewing. I did it yesterday and I could feel my body lightening, I could feel illness fleeing from my very pores. My mind was content and I was beyond happy and comfortable. I will be including more hand sewn items into my daily schedule.

Speaking of schedules, tonight I have another Reiki Healing Lesson with Senora (which I am completely loving), and hopefully I will receive the call on the Amarillo haunting this weekend. I know the familly is nervous about the events going on there. I will have people available to help if needed and I'm pretty excited to go.

As for the rest of the weekend, I'm anxious to work on more writing, get my trinkets made, I have another pendulum to send to my dear friend in Califorina, I have some video editing to do, a commercial to make, an interview on Sunday for a show and hopefully, if my stepfather is out of the hospital, making him chicken enchiladas with homemade green sauce. I would love to get the back room ready for Monica and Jacob to stay while Mason is in bootcamp. We'll have to see. So many wondeful things lined up for the near future.  I truly couldn't be happier or more blessed.

PS- I was excited, I have had three friends come to me asking me questions about spirituality, healing, and being an Empath. I love that they trust me, I love that they know that if I don't have all the answers (and I don't, no one does) that we can research it together and find out. They know they can come to me and I will not take anything away from them.

Matter of fact.. here are a few messages/emails I received recently:

"I do wonder though because of what you were saying about all those 100,000's of birds dying simutanously; something about the crystals in their brain, that may be why all of this is going on, especially if our gravitational pull has changed, who knows. Have a beautiful day! :)"
 (Love you Stephanie-you are such a beatuiful person!)

"Also I guess your talk with the Universe last night spared (my friend's name) to confess! Thanks :)"
 .. PS I do talk to the Universe, I do send healing, I do instill positivity and love into the people that come to me asking, that is part of my goal, to truly do, not just say I do like so many others.

And one of my favorites:
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou, LOL! I have never had a friend get me the way you do, angel, and I treasure you :)"
Oh Salena, you are so very dear to me, and I love you!!

This is how I get my confirmations.  This is how I enjoy my affirmations.  I have met some of the most amazing people, people that I might not be close to, or near, but I truly love and trust them. They allow me to be me, not who they want me to be.

Anywho, I hope you all have a wondeful weekend. I will type more either later or tomorrow. Let me end this by a quote from a friend of a dear friend:

"Let's just call it energy that surrounds and binds times I feel there are certain people in our lives who try to tamper with that peace." John Bennett
A New Moo

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Words to live by..

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet......" ~Gandhi~

The Power of Senses..

It's funny how people say casually in a sentences "the five senses". Wait.. there are more than five.  I can feel them from here, just sitting. For the main event of sensing, each sensor is tuned into a specific sensation. How does one catalog these amazing abilities that everyone, or maybe not everyone has?

Let's start with our skin, our skin, the largest organ we have, senses sensations technically through nerve endings, so there is pain, pressure, itch, hot and cold. Our ears, of course have sound sensors, our tongues have chemical receptors for bitter, sour, sweet, salt, but it doesn't end at the tongue, there are receptors on the roof of our mouths (so does that count as the taste or a receptor of the skin?). Then there are our eyes, that sense different levels of light, colors, etc. Your nose, that has the sense for smell, but also tends to trigger a memory quicker than any other sense we have.

Odors are molecular so that method used is different from light or sound that come in waves, therefore triggering the memory from a particular smell. Inside your nose about the level of your eyes, is a small patch of tissue containing millions of nerve cells. The odor receptors (sensors) lie on these nerve cells. Each of the receptors recognizes several odors, and likewise a single odor could be recognized by several receptors. Thus similar to codes, what happens is that different combinations of the 1,000 receptors result in our ability to identify 10,000 different odors.How do certain smells able to trigger memories of events taking place several years ago despite the fact that sensory neurons in the epithelium survive for about only 60 days? Amazing in itself.

In your muscles and joints there are sensors that tell you where the different parts of your body are and about the motion and tension of the muscles. Not to be disgusting or crude, but your bladder and your large intestine, well, we know those sensations, and what their sensors are used for.

There are sensor for being hunger, sleep and thirst. Some people can sense the weather change,

So, technically, five is WAY too low of a number in explaining our senses.  My good friend Cindy, she always says "My Spidey senses are activated", and while, it's harder to proof, I believe it is still there, so, that is another realm of information to explore, document, pursue. Above, there are what, no less than 20 different types of senses? Can you imagine what all the others are that aren't explained by doctors and scientists?

The possibilities are endless. This blog brought to you simply by the meditative scent of my morning coffee.

A New Moo

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Thinking Logically and Intelligently..

Positive thinking:
Positive thinking is only one of the many things that will have to become a habit to live a wonderful life. Creating you, the way you want you to be and  living the life you want is not easy. So it will not work for most people because all of the other steps like disciplines and skills needed, have been left out of your equation.

You see, some circumstances are beyond repair. A person has to be self aware, not just a positive thinker. So awareness and choice, are part of the mixture on events and final results of/and for your life.

Truth and Honesty:
Most people don't even realize that Truth and honesty aren't even the same thing.  Would it be a revelation to find out that you can tell the truth, while not being honest or to be honest while not speaking the truth? Truth is defined as the present state of a matter or reality, that is, truth is fact. On the other hand, honesty can not only mean speaking the truth, but also being true to your emotions, and feelings.

That happens to be where the "positivity" fails in most people.  Not only are they NOT  being true to themselves, but they are being very deceiving and well.... dishonest to others surrounding them. 

Positive thinking alone is unlikely to change much of anything in this physical world. You can sit there and hope, pray, project, imagine, fantasize, visualize, make up great affirmations and just about any other kind of positive thinking idea you can imagine, and not much will change - at least not without actually getting involved, without taking some form of action towards what you want more of in your life.

Please don't think I'm not a positive person, I am! Look.. I took the number one poll years ago that tells you the top 5 qualities you strongly posses out of 26:

Learner, Individualization, Woo, Positivity, Intellection

See? I think every single one of those traits treat me well, including positivity.  I just happen to think that it all forms a wondrous creation together. *looks around her* Yes.. I have amazing things, friends and family surrounding me. I didn't get all of that from treating them negatively .

Love love love A New Moo!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

As Deserved my day ended on a wonderful note.

So.. Thank you to the following!

Cindy! (PS-YOU gave ME confirmation girl.. so THANK YOU!)
Salena! (How's yer hineybone? hehe)
Casey! Copa, Copa banana!!
Bruce! It has corn in like corn ;)
Dawn! (oh yeah girl, you rock!) You email tonight.. I know you knew but thank you anyway!!!
Maggie! HAHAH .. want me to take photos of your four little "French" girls?
HOLY CRAPOLI I can't forget Sharon! How does your smile and shine alway stay so bright?

ALL of HSP (you know who you are!) (PS-HSP family.. We are 33 strong! WE are like family!) 
My hubby (ooh yeah.. especially you sweetie! MUAH!!)
My mom (I'm making her her favorite dish to reward her for all of her long hours and hard work with Randy still at the hospital)
My dogs (yes, even Macy)  (I'll give them "Momma loves you so much" kisses!)

Okay, I realize My mom and the Dogs uh... can't read this? But everyone else can!
Do any of you realize how much I love and adore you? Just sayin'! 

Tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow brings such sweet gifts of love.

Your new Moo!

Monday, January 10, 2011

My photography..

I love having many natural talents..

Blessed in all ways!

It would appear that since I had such a trying and challenging weekend, it feels as though I have been rewarded today.  Last night, I didn't get much sleep, well, as I wanted, but I believe that all of the activity after closing my eyes made for a peaceful and happy feeling this morning.

I have a dear dear friend that means the absolute world to me, send me a long and detailed message.  Prior to this email, I had sensed the feelings surrounding her, and just sent her a brief message of "I am here if you need to talk".  She is an amazing Empath as well, and didn't realize that she was sending out the vibrations that she was. She deserves wonderful things so I gave her my thoughts and feelings and said I'd do a little soul searching on her behalf.

Last night, I did some wonderful astral traveling (not for very long, or at least that I remember), and had a long discussion with my spirit guides (who were so good to me).  I was able to visit the Akashic Records and .. I'm telling you, I was ten times more productive in my journey last night, than I was all weekend doing housework and chores.  I did ask to remember at least some of the event before coming back, and I remember bits and pieces.  Enough for me to write it down in my journal so that I don't forget.

I asked my spirit guides about my friend and they told me a few things that I truly hadn't thought of, so I will be sending her some of the messages I received.

The snow yesterday was so uplifting.. watching it softly land.

I woke this morning in such a fantastic mood.. I can feel the positivity, the energy, all surrounding me. I have been blessed this morning, I plan on sharing it with my loved ones.


Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Weekend to Reckon With

This weekend has been a true test of patience, meditation, loss and the capability to deal with everything life has to throw at you. Life will always be challenging in one fashion or another. There will be brief moments of time where it will be fabulous and everything is where it should be, but like my wonderful friend Maggie says "It will never be all rainbows and butterflies". 

Since my niece finally posted about it, I will share here what is going on.  Friday night, I received a call from my son concerning my niece Brandie. She is 18 years old, she's trying to find herself.  Just recently, she found herself pregnant, and upon telling the father, he left her.  Anyone can judge, think you are so much better than everyone else, but, she had decided to give the baby up for adoption. She wanted the best for her baby, but upon her decision, a few "family" members decided that they would call her a whore and make her feel badly for her decision of giving another family the blessings of a child. 

Her heart was heavy for someone judging her instead of recognizing her kind hearted decision.

Friday, Brandie was 22 weeks pregnant, and she lost the baby. Regardless of how one loses their baby, it makes the soul ache from the loss. I love her very much, I support her and her decisions and I will send her healing and forgiveness for her heart.

Here on the home front, my Stepfather Randy is not doing so well.  Today I got the news that he's doing worse in the hospital.  While, I am worried about him, I am worried about my mother as well. She's going non-stop trying to help him while she lives a good hour and a half to two hours drive (depending on traffic) to the hospital. She's not eating, barely sleeping and I'm just worried. I'm going to try and take a few days off work so that I can help with her laundry, her cats, her house cleaning.  It's the least I can do.

I am very lucky to have the family and the friends that I do.  They have helped me more the last two days than they will even realize. I love them, and while I am doing so well, and in very good spirits, I still am taking the time to send healing and love to those that need it. 

Moo <3

Friday, January 7, 2011

Narcissism at it's Worst and it's Best.

Imagine if you will, a person standing in front of you.  You don't really know them, but they seem very nice. They haven't opened their mouth to even say a word, they are just standing there smiling. There is some mystery to them, no? They are not screaming at the top of their lungs to try and convince you (and most likely even themselves) of what and who they are. They are enabling to happen, whatever happens.

Then, you look to your left.  The second you make eye contact with them, they are doing cartwheels and their mouth is already open. They are already telling you over and over and over and over and over and over and over everything that they are or what they want you to think they are, they are not even letting you get a word in edgewise.  They assign all this information to themselves in order to feel or look important.  You aren't able to talk in return because they have to be the first, tallest, strongest, worst off, richest.. you get the idea. If they could, they would stand on a chair in the middle of a crowd for everyone to "look at them".

Which, of these two people are you more apt to trust? Want to spend time with? Get to know?

There was a time, when no one was anything except themselves.  The second that a seed (most likely planted by someone else) takes root, we all become something. There are people however, that can't stand anyone else to do something better than what they can do.  They adopt personalities, traits and even mimic imaginary situations, or titles from the people they want to be like. Instantly, they become sheeple.

I believe aspirations are amazing, and you find people that you look up to, that is also amazing, but don't try and steal their talent, limelight, individualization for your own satisfaction.

I didn't realize I was an Empath until I was what.. 37-38 years old? I knew I was different, and that I felt things I didn't understand, but it wasn't until I had researched and read and studied this information did I happen to fall upon the term and it fit, every ounce of it fit. Amazing! I'm not a basket case or bipolar (which I would be later accused of, even a Psychopath- which by the way, I am none of) but I *FEEL deep within my soul the feelings of what other people feel, those whom I love, those I don't know, they can be near, or far away. It doesn't matter. THAT IS WHAT IT IS! 

While I was extremely excited to figure this information out for myself (believe it or not it truly was a lot of work), it was nearly instantly yanked away from me. I will not go into the specifics because that is water under the bridge, but suffice it to say, any time I figured something out or came to understand a key part of information .. it was taken away from me as well. 

A person that was so small in their own mind, lacking in self confidence, felt it necessary to adopt what myself and so many other people experience and make it their own.  o.O

Do you have any idea exactly how defeating it feels to have someone step in front of you when it is your moment, and steal it away? It's not pretty, it's not fun, and it's not what a true Empath would do in that situation. 

Did you know that they can tell a true Empath by the words they write, even in a email?

Say for instance, you write an email to a friend that you are having issues with.  The way you word it, the tone you use and the phrases you put forth express if you are a true Emapth or if it is simply sympathy you feel.  I didn't know that until about late July, 2010 when I had a long discussion with a very gentle and experienced Empath. I showed him several emails that were written to me, concerning the author's feelings and perception of my actions.

He showed me different studies with some of the top renowned sensitives and low and behold, key words stuck out everywhere, after hi-lighting those key words, you would think that nearly the entire printed out email was hi-lighted.  So, between actions performed and words stated, someone tried to make them self into something they aren't. Now, in order to keep up that act, several other .. "conditions" have been thrown into a pile.

Sad really.

I love being an Empath, a true Empath, now that I understand it and am starting to work in different areas.  That will always be my first and truest "title" (besides wife, mother and grandmother) that I will give myself. People feel it though, they recognize it, in turn, I don't have to write it everywhere until it is instilled into people's head that they associate me with being an Emapth.  

I realized also about May of last year, that being a true Empath has other natural talents, one being able to heal. I have recently met people from all over the world, and helped them heal from things such as Retinal Irradiance, Candida  down to helping someone that is an extreme introvert feel comfortable with who they are.

I truly enjoy meeting new people, and helping. Truly helping where I am needed. So for 2011 it's time to nurture those amazing gifts (that I have been given, it's not truly my own) and nurse them to a beautiful gift to share with others. I do not take the credit, I am merely a vessel in which these gifts are processed through. Thank you Universe!

Thus.. A New Moo ~ Smiling and hitting the ground running.

"Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous - not just to some people in some circumstances - but to everyone all the time." ~Thomas J. Watson.

*Key note added here, generally negative feelings trump positive feelings only because of the intensity involved and the intentions behind them.

A Big Production

I received an email from a very dear friend today. I will not divulge her name, but this is exactly what it said:

"Dear Sweet Melissa,
I have to tell you that when I read what you posted on my page last night I had tears in my eyes. It was so beautiful and it so deeply touched my heart and soul and brought a huge smile to my face. You are such a wonderful person and soul. You are so funny, full of love, and so caring. You have touched so many lives. I am so grateful that we have been brought together. I love the way you bring others together and then cheer them on!! You are so very special to me. I love you Melissa. Have a Blessed day my dear friend. You are the bestestest!! Hugs.
Me♥ "
When you receive a message like that, it is like the Universe is telling you that everything you are doing is correct, you are a good person and everything about you is growing stronger, opening faster and experiencing more every day. 

I am fortunate that I have the friends that I do.  They are inspirations to me, they are supporters, cheerleaders, they encourage, they rally, they comfort and hold you up. They don't use you for any purpose, they don't abuse your talents and abilities, they just tell you the good things and if there are bad things, they work with you on it, not let it fester until all parties are upset.

Do you know what makes me the happiest? I love to make people laugh. I love feeling their happy energy.  I love to feel their positivity.  I don't want to steal it from them, I want to SHARE it with them. I love to see their eyes illuminate with enlightenment. I love being someone they will remember for how I made them feel, not for the titles I have in front of, on top of or behind my name. I love the thought of sharing all of the positivity and joyous emotions they feel. 

I have done nothing but smile for the last seven days (longer actually, but just recently started counting). I have SO much going for me. I have people from my past and new people from my present that TRULY love me for who I am.  They have no interest in changing me, and for that, I am truly humbled. 2011 already is and will (in the future) be an amazing year for me. I have paths opening up all around me, I have friends on those paths that are smiling and waving for me to walk with them. 

I put my words into action, I don't just say them, they are very real, and people all over the world now are starting to see that.

Look out world.. The moo is new and she's climbing higher every day!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Easily amused...

I am easily amused.

There are things that am I not only told, but people have sent me screen shots. I might be a lot of things, but I am not negative. I don't have time for it, I don't have time for the drama. My anxiety has left me since I made changes in my life back in July. I've lost weight, I don't get the guilt filled emails, accusations, finger pointing, and demands that I once did.

People do change, but I'll never forget being told "I can forgive but I can never forget". I can remember the smiles and buddy system in the lime light, but behind the scenes, the things said about people, the hurtful intentions sent, the frustrations of people not like other people. I even remember (and possibly have emails) where those following the purple Kool-aid maker were talked about in a not so nice manner. I think people would be surprised, very. Their blinders would be melted to puddles of disappointment.

If you have ever seen the movie "Merlin" .. the moment that everyone turned their back on Queen Map, she lost her power. She wasn't thought about, or talked about, and soon she faded away. That is where I am at this moment. If I am being talked about, that is OK with me, because I have moved on. I am at an EXTREMELY enjoyable, fun, comfortable and important time in my life.  There is no turning back now, to turn back around and revisit that .. pernicious pool of darkness would cause complete chaos.

It's very easy to portray something you aren't.  It's very hard to hold up that persona for a very long time. I'm sure there is intention there, but it is not pure. I know it is not pure, I've seen it with my own eyes, with my own spirit, and sadly with my own soul. Every title in the world does not make you anything more than what you are. Making friends again with the desperate people that you disposed of and betrayed only proves the fact that you are already struggling.

Actually, while I don't respond to their attempts (not to be friends again but to defend their actions that were wrong, misleading and the end result of jumping to conclusions incorrectly), I do rather feel sorry for them. They do not know how to have a true friendship. They want to control every aspect of the relationship, and when things don't happen exactly as they:

  • Want
  • Need
  • Expect
  • or desire

They accuse, and belittle, lie, manipulate and well, in the end, they still don't see why people flee from them one, after another after another.

I'm glad they have the friends they do.  Because they all are living under the same false pretenses. They can rely on each other, include each other in their demeaning plans and try to get that one good "AHA..that felt good" moment. It will catch up to them, eventually.  Maybe not now, maybe not while I'm even near, but it will.

In the meantime, I am supported by people that talk to me, that share with me, who are learning with me, they don't expect me to do everything for them, that aren't jealous if I have a true talent, that differs from theirs. I don't get accused of doing something I'm not doing, I don't get criticized, chastised and even my flaws are acknowledged and accepted. I am loved. I am blessed. I'm a great person that people enjoy spending time with and getting to know.

I am enough, and proud of it!


A New Moo!